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Boo—How scary is the world we live in?

30 Oct

Earlier this month i attended a wonderful course focused on training 3rd eye perception. It was fabulous to have an entire weekend dedicated to energy work and honing my skills. Yet, as we left, one of the co-leaders made a remark that stopped me in my ethereal elevation. She said that the world has changed a lot and is not a safe place anymore. Immediately i thought of early humans who were hunted by large animals. I thought of the times of witch hunts and the inquisition. I thought of diseases such as the plague that wiped out entire cities. I thought of the many wars people have been waging throughout the ages. Were those times when the world was a safer place? I wouldn’t think so.

Still, I can appreciate the sense of overwhelm and helplessness caused by environmental degradation, heightened by power games and money interests that threaten to destroy our environment even more. I can appreciate that the landscape of political deception with its distortions of truth generates frustration. I can also appreciate the sense of overwhelm caused by the constant demands on most of us and how small the ledge of security is that we have to rely on. What happens if we cannot work anymore and our savings are gone? I can appreciate the sense of overwhelm and fear that is generated subtly and indirectly by the poverty and violence surrounding us, visible when we venture to use public transportation at odd hours or drive by the improvised camps under the freeway in Oakland—when we are confronted with those who have fallen through the cracks of this society.

But what is the solution here? Is it to avoid looking? Is it to wall ourselves in and not leave the cocoon for as long as we can help it? Is it to live in isolation with your computer and phone as your sole platforms of social interaction and leave the outer physical world to the bullies? To me, that is a scary world as well. Disengaging from the physical and withdrawing to live on Facebook cannot be the solution.

Don’t get me wrong, i love Facebook. It helps me connect with many people and it disperses news at a speed that is impressive. Yet, when looking at all the nicely curated posts of happy moments and wonderful achievements year in and year out, where does it leave you if you haven’t experienced similar happy moments and amazing accomplishments? It leaves you feeling less than. It makes you feel worthless and undesirable. It amplifies your isolation.

Yes, i too feel the frustration and overwhelm and fear engendered by modern life in the US and i sympathize with everyone who is burdened by it. But i also see the shiny virtual world as a trap when it is juxtaposed to the rough and dirty world of physical interactions and presented as safe. It’s not necessarily safe. It can lead to depression and even to suicide. Withdrawal into private seclusion is understandable but it is not a solution. Instead of letting our heads hang, i suggest that we claim what is ours: this world, this life. The world is as scary as we make it, or allow others to make it. Let’s claim it.

What can you do to claim your life more fully?

© Eva Ruland, October 2016

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Hesitations and blessings

26 Jul

In August, i will take 3 weeks off to visit friends and family in Germany. I had some hesitations manifesting in me that caused me to procrastinate finalizing my plans. Eventually, i made the decision to go and to address the reasons for my hesitation. I was worried that i would not feel at home at my sister’s place. She and her family live in a small apartment without a guest room. When i last visited, i had a hard time adjusting to their schedule and getting enough sleep. I never recovered from my jet lag while i was with them. My sleep deprivation and her sense of being encumbered in her space led to unnecessary arguments that we both suffered from. So now i am being proactive and have created conditions for my visit that are more conducive to cheer and shared moments of joy. I will first visit Berlin, where a friend will put me up in her guest apartment. This will give me the space to withdraw and rest, and to feel welcomed by several friends. When the time comes to visit my sister, i will not stay with her; i am renting a small apartment close by. Once i got all of this figured out, all my hesitations vanished and now i am looking forward to my time in Germany.

How is your summer going? Have you been taking time off, or are you planning to do so? Perhaps you are not traveling but finding ways to relax at home or visit places nearby that nurture you. That’s what i have been doing once weekly for the past few weeks. Whether it’s a walk on the beach in Alameda or a hike in the forests of the peninsula, it’s amazing how nurturing even the tiniest mini vacation is. Try it out. Just ask yourself these questions: What are the places that nurture me? When can i take 2 or 3 hours, a half day, or even a whole day off to venture out? How can you make your summer relaxing and reenergizing?

 

Happy New Year!

1 Jan

I am wishing you true joy for 2015 and whatever it takes to get there.

happy 2015

How do you go about increasing your joy? Start with clarity and conscious intent. Be clear about what you want and why. Go to the root cause of what is in the way of your happiness. Then set a conscious intention to give yourself what you need. Find tools to support your intent, such as creating an intentions collage.

To be clear sounds easy, doesn’t it? But often we get caught up in side aspects and deviate from the path to our bliss. You may think, If only i had xxxxx dollars my troubles would be over. or, If only i had a house in xxxx my life would be so much happier. Or, If only i was a size S i would find a partner and all would be bliss. However, while the money, the house, and the partner may give you temporary joy, they may not be the solution you are really yearning for.

Here is an example from my own life. As a teenager i always dreamt of studying fine art in Paris. When the time came to apply for university, i decided to study methods of engineering in Berlin instead. I loved Berlin but i did not relate to the milieu among engineers. But why did i choose it? Because i had a strong need for security and a financially stabile future, after my father had become an invalid as the result of a stroke. Of course, i could have found job security elsewhere, even in a field that was closer to my heart. The trouble was that i did not know how to listen to my heart, and any advise i received did not take into account what i was passionate about: beauty, visioning and the workings of psyche. It took me many years to become clear and rectify my choice. Today i know better.

Here are some tips for you If you want to begin the new year with conscious intent.

1) Question your motivation. Why do you want to lose weight? Why do you plan on changing jobs? Why do you long for a partner?

2) Break it down. Once you go deeper and realize that, for example, you feel lonely and hope that a partner would relieve your loneliness, begin to think about things you would enjoy sharing. Then think about people who you can approach and invite to share activities. Or, the other way around, think about activities you enjoy and find groups and venues that offer this activity.

3) Define new goals. Continuing with the example, now you can state the goal of finding good company. Next, find concrete action steps. Make plans with friends, and go and participate in activities.
Hopefully, the result will be that you experience less loneliness and feel more fulfilled. Being less needy will increase your sex appeal considerably and, over time, you may meet a potential partner naturally, through sharing activities you love.

As always, i am available for coaching if you decide to get support. Find more info at evaruland.com.

Happy 2015!

Too Much To Do, Too Little Time — Lessons I Learned From New Media

7 May

I don’t know about you, but sometimes i am just plain overwhelmed with all the demands of everyday life. How could i possibly engage with all 547 Facebook friends, respond to an average of 45 emails per day, and return text messages as they come in, while seeing clients, conducting workshops, answering phone calls, tending to my family, exercising, socializing, and feeding myself healthy food; plus, staying current on training, business development, and circulating in the networking loop? Not to even mention writing blog entries and looking my best. My answer to this is, “I can’t.” My day has 24 hours, and i continue to insist on sleeping.

no time

So much to do, so little time…….

New communication technologies have made it possible for us to communicate around the globe with, theoretically, an unlimited number of people. That is fabulous. I thoroughly enjoy each Skype call with my sister and young niece in Germany; every Facebook message i exchange with my (until-recently) long-lost dear friend in Norway; keeping current with friends in Berlin; participating in threads of discussion in my global visionary business community; and being on peer calls with other coaches around the world.

And how about online business, learning, entertainment and shopping? I could spend all my time browsing the internet, following this link and that, doing a little research on when exactly something first originated, or who has something to say on a certain topic; I can visit other cities and foreign continents virtually; I can do my shopping online and spend hours and days ‘window’ shopping and comparison pricing. Whenever I am online at night, i forget time and end up getting too little sleep.

New communication technologies add more possibilities to our lives. They connect us with the entire planet in realtime and have added new dimensions to both our private lives and our work. They are a thrill. AND, there are problems that arise from them. Apart from the environmental benefit of buying locally, there is a physical component that needs to be considered. My body is still the kind of body it used to be 30 years ago—if not in all detail then at least in its principle structure and way of operation. It is made to be in the ‘here and now’ and manage the demands of a limited community. While I can do business with people in South Africa, there is a sanity that comes from doing business in my own time zone (reminder: sanity means health). When we are dealing with new communication technologies the most impressive part of them— the limitless possibilities of connecting—is responsible for the very trouble. We have not grown to be unlimited alongside our new tools. We ourselves are still limited in our capacity to take in.

The answer to this dilemma is to exercise discrimination and to make smart choices.

If you are overwhelmed, don’t get enough sleep, or have problems keeping a budget, here is a question for you: How many hours do you spend online, surfing the internet, talking and stalking on Facebook (or other social networking platforms), and shopping? How many things do you end up wanting that you could do just fine without before you saw that extra offer? Ask yourself, “What could I have done in the time I just spent online today?” Many things, i bet. One of them might be get more sleep; another, go for a walk and catch a glimpse of the weather, or how about an old-fashioned evening with friends and family? Meeting people in the flesh?

In this time of unlimited possibility there is only one thing that keeps me sane, and that is MAKING choices and letting go of wanting ALL. The key question is, “What are my priorities?” Answering this helps me consciously navigate the tasks and opportunities each day offers. Here are my top 10:

  • Having a healthy life style. This includes activities that further my physical well-being.
  • Serving my clients to the best of my ability.
  • Growing my business to ensure that i will be able to support myself.
  • Preparing most of my meals myself. It’s the best way of monitoring what i eat. (With a well-thought out diet i managed to lower my blood sugar out of the zone labeled ‘pre-diabetic’ and will hopefully avoid diabetes, a disease that runs in my family.)
  • Balancing myself emotionally and nurturing my connection to spirit. (Daily meditation is my answer to this.)
  • Honoring the ebb and flow of my energy.
  • Honoring my personality style.
  • Honoring relationships. (Not jumping on every social opportunity helps me to spent time with those i love.)
  • Honoring my curiosity for new developments. (Making time for cultural events and select news.)
  • Honoring my need for beauty. (Seeking out environments + activities that resonate with my appreciation (and need) for beauty.)
  • Supporting the environment and helping animals who are hunted down or otherwise mistreated.

As you can see, this list does not answer all questions on choices but it is a good starting point. With this list i can check if and how spending more time online, or with other activities, would serve me. What is your top 10?

© Eva Ruland, May 2014

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Change takes awareness and discipline – most of us struggle with at least one of the two. It’s certainly easier to grow with the support and guidance of a teacher, coach or mentor. If you would like to explore working with me and getting me on your support team, contact me at eva_at_evaruland.com.